Talk about a confusing title. It matches a tired, foggy brain right now. I apologize in advance for nonsensical rambling.
The past few days have been genuinely good days. I attended a talk on the rape epidemic in Haiti Monday evening and went to Karen’s open hours Wednesday for Sargent Choice pizza and conversation ranging from sexual attitudes to Charlie Sheen. Tonight, I had the special opportunity to gather at Dean Hill’s home with other graduate students an listen to a talk about a fascinating dissertation in the Graduate School of Theology.
Tomorrow I will attend the Chinese Student Association’s Take Out Concert, a huge Goodwill benefit event, put together by a close friend. Then, Saturday, I get to go to the Vagina Monologues and see Allie in the Vagina Monologues.
I’m a busy girl! And for all general purposes, a pretty cultured one – this week at least. As I sat listening to Ada this evening, I couldn’t help but think “Is this really my life? how do I have so many incredible opportunities?” While all of these things are fabulous and wonderful, and I am more than blessed to have all these experiences, they are not home, and I am looking forward to going home next week.
I may sound totally crazy here and that’s okay, but I basically feel as if I’m living someone else’s life half of the time. I attend meetings, conferences, discussions, events, social affairs, etc. and I thoroughly enjoy myself most of the time. I think they make me a well-rounded person but they don’t define who I am. Let me explain.
For instance, last week for class I went to the Boston Medical Center to observe barium swallows (don’t ask). As I stood there in my lead cover, I felt very much that it was a place I could fit in, something I am capable of doing. The same goes for learning about trach management (who knew this was a specialty of speech?), managing finances for Dance Marathon, late night political debates, and the list goes on. What I’m learning is just because I am capable, doesn’t mean I have to do something.
I’m all for learning new things, trying new experiences, and exploring the world. I think all that is vital to self growth and development. But at the end of the day, I want to come home to home. I don’t always feel so grounded here…I feel like I’m living in a surreal dream world that’s night my life. It’s cool, but something is missing, and I think I know just where to find it.
Post-graduation goal: find these cool new worldy experiences in my own backyard.
Enough of that.
Quickly a recap of this week’s running progress:
Monday = 1 mile @ 10:00/mile Tuesday = 1.25 miles Wednesday = 1 mile Thursday = 2 miles.
I know it’s not a ton, but for me it’s a start. It was mostly on the treadmill, as it’s been freezing outside. I’m not dying of shortness of breath, boredom, or frustration and it’s a GOOD feeling. I know I can do this!! I was once told I’m way too stubborn not to succeed and it’s so true.
I’m meeting with a nutritionist next week! It’s a free consultation for students at BU, so why not use it? Also, I know that I’ve mentioned before how I’m not a fan of scales and like the jean tightness method better…but despite great fitting jeans, I seem to be gaining weight. I’m close to a scary number that I don’t want to stay at and I’m hoping the nutritionist can get me on track to the healthiest me I can be!